a beautiful baby boy....

we managed to get a picture of him into our email (don't ask.) :) this is a picture of him from sunday - probably when we were holding him for the first time. you can see his canula to help him breath and his hand wrapped up from the IV (which later got changed to a PIC line.) he loves to be held, and he loves to sit up and look around. we are off to the hospital later this morning. bill's cousin tyler is going to come meet the newest family member (since tyler lives a half of a block away from the hospital!)

oh, and he moved to his "big boy bed" last night, with no breathing support! his O2 levels were almost better than with the support. :) (he HATED that thing!)

latest liam update

can't remember where i last left off, but yesterday liam was extubated and did well on room air with a nasal canula. he had some inspiratory stridor (it sounded like he was snoring when he breathed in) and he got some steroids for that because they figured it was from the trauma of being intubated. that is mostly resolved now. we got to hold him for the first time yesterday. he seemed to enjoy it and looked at us with his big dark eyes. the nasal canula was removed this evening and he was doing great - some O2 readings even higher than before! he HATES all that stuff on him.

the infection cultures that were started at the first hospital weren't showing any growth. he had a spinal tap today to test for meningitis and the initial test results are good. he will be getting his hearing screening sometime soon (i've already spoken to the audiologist.) :)

we got to feed him today and he is learning to be a little trooper! he got his first bath and also got to finally wear some clothes. he looked very handsome in his red, white and blue outfit in honor of memorial day.

my parents visited yesterday and bill's parents visited today. and yes, there was lots of crying. :) we will find out tomorrow if we can get a wed. court date to finalize the termination of parental rights. his birth parents are signing their forms tomorrow, but it is still revocable until the judge signs it.

we're taking lots of pictures but have a hard time posting them from here without a compact flash drive here. bill emailed a picture to aunt lynn, so bug her for it. :) i hear that between paul, lynn, the kids, paula and her mom, our house is quite the sight to see right now.

thank you everyone. i need to get some sleep now. :)

welcome to the world

sorry not much time. we are at the ronald mcdonald house.

liam joseph was born after less than 4 hrs of labor yesterday - weighing 8lbs 2 oz, 19 inches long. he required O2 and was doing well with sat. levels, but he was breathing rather quickly, so he was transferred to a NICU at a bigger hospital. he is doing well here - already last night he was on room air through his intubation tube. there are 3 main causes for his problem, but they think (or did last night) that his lungs are just a big more premature than he is.

we are off to the hospital to spend the day with him again. his birthparents are making the trip today to see him one more time since they didn't get to say goodbye properly when the ambulance came to transport him.

jenna's website

our friends beth and dwayne added their story to jenna's website. i'm going there next to check it out.

i got jenna's book in the mail yesterday. i am very excited to read it. i'm sure she did an excellent job.

and just for fun, liffey's flyball friends marvin, silk and cassie joined liffey and lincoln as dogster pup pals. :)

as for adoption news, nothing really new yet. our s/w submitted the birthplan to the hospital, but i'm not so sure the hospital is excited or comfortable with an adoption. we'll all do the best we can.

nothing really new

waiting to hear from the s/w (social worker) to see if she spoke with the hospital s/w about the birth plan. apparently they're not quite sure (at the hospital) what to do. i'm sure our s/w will get it straightened out.

sending more $$ out - this time to a lawyer. yeah! but good news today from a friend who just signed with our agency, so we'll wait to see how that pans out.

and for the smile for the day, liffey and lincoln's dogster pages. check out the rosette's they got today....
http://www.dogster.com/?81526
http://www.dogster.com/?81525

latest update as of tues. evening....

i got a call from the BM that her dr's appt went very well yesterday EXCEPT for the fact that she is no where close to being in labor. :) she is ready to not be pregnant anymore! next appt is set for may 31st, but she is bound and determined to not make that appt.

names

got this comment from scott...

So I took a quick survey and 100% of the people I talked with like the following names for the baby.
Scott Paul M*
Paul Scott M*
I leave it to you to guess how many people I surveyed and whom they were. Congrats, can't wait to see the new baby.

our birthmother has another dr. appt today!

u/s showed......

our wonderful birthmother is carrying a BOY!! lincoln and bill are excited that the scales are tipping in their favor, but liffey and i will still run things around here. :)

i spoke with our BM on the phone friday night. she is very kind and considerate. she has a funny sense of humor, not unlike someone else i know. :)

we tried to get the lawyer situation figured out since bill and i didn't really know what we were talking about, but i think we got that settled. we were approved for our home equity loan and are waiting for the checks to come in.

we went to babies r us yesterday. the infertility (IF) vet in me still wasn't comfortable in there, but we looked at car seats mostly with a quick tour of the rest of the store. we'll have to have the car seat to bring him home. the rest can come later. we have a beautiful crib that we are borrowing from bill's friend hal. we used a famous barr gift cert. to buy him his coming home outfit and a few other little things.

WE ARE MATCHED!

i got a call from our social worker (s/w) on wed. afternoon, in the middle of seeing a patient. when i was able to call her back, she asked if we'd like to be matched, and i thought about it for a while.... :)

2 weeks to the day that she told us that we were active, she told me that a birthmother had picked us! the birthfather is known and has also given his consent. they do not know the sex of the baby, but her ultrasound (u/s) was normal.

here's the bigger news - she is due june 4th!! 2 days after our 6th wedding anniversary. she is here in our state, so that should make things easier not having to do the interstate compact paperwork. the drive there should only be about 3 hrs or so.

not a whole lot of other news at this point. just trying to get things ready. we moved my old day bed out of liffey's room (she was confused when she went into her room this morning when i left.) we sealed the 2 log walls that hadn't been sealed yet (only 6 yrs behind.) :o) hopefully we will be decorating it as a nursery in the next few weeks!

watch this space

things have been busy the last couple of days. just thought i would share another anonymous story for today.

guy called me up telling me he thought he had become lactose intolerant because he had a stuffy nose, and he had cereal with milk that morning. i had to explain what lactose intolerance was and that he had symptoms at the wrong end. he was embarrassed.

it's monday

well, i survived another mother's day weekend. winery trips with single friends is a definite help. :) and i got to spend yesterday with just me and my mom. she brought me a rose for mother's day, which was very nice.

nothing new to report really. i sent our social worker an update for our home study. we got the results from the EPA saying that our water and soil tested low (normal) for lead, which is excellent news, considering how close we are to the old lead mines.

i think tomorrow i'll write up about what all we had to do to go through the application process for our adoption agency.

today's lesson

for those of you still reading that i haven't bored to death, i thought i'd talk about why we chose domestic vs international adoption.

we looked into both several years ago. we looked at ukrainian adoption since bill's grandma is first gen. ukrainian american. (and still can speak it even though she denies it completely.) :) but it can be expensive with the travel and the children are generally older (2+ yrs was fairly common when we last researched it.)

international adoption gives you a bit more of a definitive timeline. it takes X weeks to get this paperwork in, X weeks to be matched, X weeks for paperwork in country to be completed, etc etc. but typically parents don't have much medical history (if any), and foreign countries can change their minds about rules (china just did it, russia is doing it and guatemala is getting ready to shut down altogether. of course, domestic BMs (birth mother) can change their minds too!) some countries have children in foster homes, and some have them in orphanages. developmental delays can happen in orphanages from lack of one on one attention, but most kids catch up quickly in an adoptive home with lots of attention.

domestic adoptions have really no known timeline. you could be chosen in a week; you could be chosen in year, or more. but typically, you can find lots of medical background info. often adoptive parents can speak directly to the BM. sometimes they are even there for the birth of the child! domestic adoption is the only way to adopt a new born baby and have them home with you within a few weeks. but, of course, you always run the risk of the BM changing her mind. good agencies help reduce this risk, but even good agencies can't control everything.

there are lots of websites out there with more info. just google domestic and international adoption.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18557471/

this is the today show's website for today's clip. 6 adoption myths along with a link to the video.

my friend marie commented that she likes my blog and jenna's website also, but that she doesn't understand all the abbreviations. i told her not to worry because i didn't understand them all either. i thought i might list some of the common ones in case i use them - out of habit, and because it's easier. :)

2WW Two-week wait
A/F Aunt Flo (your period)
ART Assisted reproductive technique
BBT Basal body temperature
BCP Birth control pills
BM birthmother
BFN Big fat negative
BFP Big fat positive
CD Cycle day
CM Cervical mucus
D&C Dilation and curettage
DE Donor eggs (not to be confused with donor embryo)
DPO Days post-ovulation
ENDO Endometriosis
ET Embryo transfer
FET Frozen embryo transfer
FSH Follicle stimulating hormone
H/B Heartbeat
HCG Human chorionic gonadotropin
HPT Home pregnancy test
HRT Hormone replacement therapy
HSC Hysteroscopy
HSG Hysterosalpinogram
ICSI Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection
IUI Intra-uterine insemination
IVF In vitro fertilisation
LAP Laparoscopy
LH Luteinising hormone
LMP Last menstrual period
LP Luteal phase
MFI male factor infertility
M/C Miscarriage
PCOS Polycystic ovary syndrome
PCT Post-coital test
SA Sperm analysis
TTC Trying to conceive
U/S Ultrasound

that is an edited down list i lifted from another site. i have learned about every single one of these things and i believe every single test/procedure listed has been done to us. hope this helps.

link to the today show

http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=80bf3332-575e-46ae-89c6-94d54958d9ad&f=00&fg=

this one worked for me. hope it still works. jenna did a GREAT job. the blocked tube lady was NOT a good infertility example.

today's show apparently talked about miscarriages. i will post a link as soon as i find it.

http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=18f9641f-d84e-4b5e-b5e4-1cb326594be8&f=05&fg=rss

hope this one works too. this is from today's show. the woman featured was found to have a blood clotting disorder. didn't mention with one, but i have 2 of them, so it may be similar. this segment was fairly well done.

thanks!

thanks for the comments! i may need to borrow some of liffey's border collie friends because bill does NOT make a good herding dog. :)

and i think i fixed the link to jenna's website on the right. i had an extra http or something in there. and for those of you who can read french, marie's blog is about her life as a rugby player's wife. she is a friend of mine from grad school #1 and was a bridesmaid in our wedding.

i thought i'd try to catch some of you up on what we have done in the past. today i thought i'd share our story on how we found our agency.

i started looking into adoption several years ago, way before IVF because i was NEVER going to do IVF. ever. ha. and ha again. i sent away for info from several local agencies and some in texas, at the recommendation of someone from the infertility support group i attended. i also learned through my local friends that, except for the governmental agencies, all of the local agencies here in town had a religious requirement. there is 1 new agency that does not - only one - but she is very new and trying to get her agency going. when i was looking at the application forms for the other local agencies, every single one was discriminatory. no non-christians, no homosexuals, etc etc. that excludes too many of my friends. i also was not going to write a 1 page essay on how jesus is my personal savior. i passed theology in college just fine, thank you. all the agencies also require a referral from your pastor. that would be great, except no one at our church knows who the heck we are because we're not "from" there.

i researched some larger, nationwide agencies too. i've always been a little nervous about big institutions - like, say, a state university. :) in the end, we decided to go with the same agency a friend used. while i was getting ready for our donor embryo cycle, a friend started her adoption paperwork with this agency and was very happy with them. it is here in our state, but not in the city. they have no religious requirement. they help the birthmother (BM) become self supportive so she can take better care of herself after the birth. they advertise nationwide along with in state. they also work with a facilitator in another state. our social worker said about 50% of the BM's come from in state and 50% are from out of state.

so now we wait. we may travel to the next county to meet a potential BM (PBM) or we may travel to another state. watch this space.....

lincoln's ducks

i hear that jenna was great on the today show. as soon as i get a link to the clip, i will post it here. she said my story made it on her website in time for the show. maybe someone will feel sorry for us and want to pay for our next cycle and our adoption! or not.

in the mean time, lincoln finally got to meet his ducks, face to face, in the yard.
they are defective ducks.
they think lincoln is their momma, and they were scared of water.
i'll try to get a picture posted of lincoln with his pet ducks following him around.

ok, nothing exciting to report right now, so i have had an offer from an anonymous person of a story to post. this happened to him/her at work.

when i was going to a meeting last week with this one weirdo here.
it was all quiet in the car for about 5 mins or so
then out of nowhere he goes "hmmmm yip yip hmmmmm."
then silence.
i didn't know what to do.
so i just stayed quiet and turned away to look out the window.

please check out this website

http://www.inconceivablejourney.com/default.htm

this was created by my friend who i mentioned was on oprah and is going to be on the today show. she did say that it would be in the 8 o'clock hour, but i don't know if that's eastern time only. (not up on my today show "stuff.")

i just sent my story to jenna, so if you'd like to read it, it might be posted there in a few days.

got this off of one of my infertility chat boards. except for you fellow IF vets out there (IF=infertility and vets is our term for those of us who have been there, done that, still no success), the rest of you would be amazed at the incredibly stupid things people say to infertiles.


So, what do you think people would say to you if you were paraplegicinstead of infertile...
As soon as you buy a wheelchair, I bet you'll be able to walk again!

You can't use your legs? Boy, I wish I was paralyzed. I get so tiredof walking, and if I were paralyzed I wouldn't have to walk anywhere!I could just sit around and relax all day long...

My cousin was paralyzed but she started shaving her legs in the otherdirection and she could walk again. You should try that.

I guess God just didn't mean for you to be able to walk.

Are you sure you want to be able to walk? It is SUCH hard work!

Oh, I know exactly how you feel, because I have an ingrown toenail.

Sorry, we don't cover treatment for paraplegia, because it's not alife-threatening illness.

So... when are *you* going to start walking?

Oh, I have just the opposite problem. I have to walk everywhere I go!

But don't you *want* to walk?

You're just trying too hard. Relax and you'll be able to walk.

You're so lucky... think of the money you save on shoes.

I don't know why you're being so selfish. You should at least be happythat *I* can walk.

I hope you don't try those anti-paralyzation drugs. They sometimesmake people run too fast and they get hurt.

Look at those people hiking... doesn't that make you want to hike?

Just relax, you'll be walking in no time.

Oh do my legs hurt, I was walking and walking and going up and downthe stairs all day.

I broke my leg skiing, and was on crutches for weeks, and was worriedI'd have a permanent limp, but I'm 100% healed.

I'd ask you to be in my wedding party but the wheelchair will look outof place at the altar.

You're being selfish, not coming on the hike with us, and looking atall of my track & field trophies.

Don't complain, you get all the good parking places.

If you just lose weight your legs will work again.

If you would just have more sex, you could walk!

You don't know how to walk? What's wrong with you? Here let a real manshow you how to walk!

You are just trying too hard to walk. Give up, and then you'll walk.

Here, touch my legs, then you'll walk!

Everyone in my family can walk. It must be in the water!

Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get youwalking!

When _we_ were young we only had to worry about having to walk toomuch.

And I bet a parapalegic going to a bookstore doesn't find books aboutparalysis stacked next to all the books on running...

"paper pregnant"

well, it's official - we are WAITING. not that we haven't done that enough in the past 3 1/2 yrs, but that is usually in 2 week increments when we know the date we are waiting for. we have nooooo idea what date we are waiting for now. none. oh, i love being patient! :o)

i got my SHARE newsletter yesterday. SHARE is a pregnancy and infant loss support group. i like some of the things in their newsletters. thought i would share part of their cover article on surviving mother's day.

-acknowledge that you are parents.
-be gentle with yourselves. do only what you can handle. acknowledge that this day could be difficult and determine how you can comfortably spend the day.
-alert yourself to the most difficult challenges of the day, such as attention given to moms and dads at church. some parents have talked to their clergy about the importance of recognizing all parents at these celebrations.
-family gatherings may make you feel uncomfortable. discuss this with your family and let them know that you appreciate their love and support, but that you may not be able to attend of manage your composure throughout the entire day. assure them that these feelings will not be forever.
-remember your baby by lighting a candle, placing a rose on the alter or dinner table, or planting a tree or bush.

i was going to add something that happened to me, but i'll refrain so no one gets mad at me. :o) our son was only 7 1/2 weeks into the pregnancy when his heart stopped beating, but we sure loved him during that time, and since. our peach trees were planted in his, and his siblings', memories. they had beautiful blossoms on them this spring. who knew peach blossoms were pink??

our social worker let me know that our final paperwork was rec'd last friday and that she was going to finish our home study write up over the weekend. then she will send it to her supervisor for final approval. thanks to everyone who sent a referral letter! we had twice as many as we needed. :) our portfolios were mailed on friday, so they should be in columbia by today i would think.

we had a fun weekend at flyball. our team finished first 2 days in a row! little liffey ran hard even though she was scared of the cars outside. she REALLY likes running with her border collie friends silk and marvin (she idolizes marvin.) :o)

everyone by sure to watch the today show the week of may 7th (next week.) an online infertility/adoption friend will be on the today show. there are supposed to be 3 parts to the story, and she is in 1. not sure which day yet, but she will be talking about her infertility treatments, i believe. she was incredibly brave and appeared on the oprah show, where her comments were edited down to half of what she wanted to convey to the world about infertility. oprah, and her audience, basically told jenna to "get over it." i will never watch oprah or buy her magazine again after her treatment of jenna. (and you all know how stubborn i can be!)

i figured i might share some of our infertility testing and treatment, since most of you got to miss it the first go round, while we are waiting for more adoption news.