thanks!

thanks for the comments! i may need to borrow some of liffey's border collie friends because bill does NOT make a good herding dog. :)

and i think i fixed the link to jenna's website on the right. i had an extra http or something in there. and for those of you who can read french, marie's blog is about her life as a rugby player's wife. she is a friend of mine from grad school #1 and was a bridesmaid in our wedding.

i thought i'd try to catch some of you up on what we have done in the past. today i thought i'd share our story on how we found our agency.

i started looking into adoption several years ago, way before IVF because i was NEVER going to do IVF. ever. ha. and ha again. i sent away for info from several local agencies and some in texas, at the recommendation of someone from the infertility support group i attended. i also learned through my local friends that, except for the governmental agencies, all of the local agencies here in town had a religious requirement. there is 1 new agency that does not - only one - but she is very new and trying to get her agency going. when i was looking at the application forms for the other local agencies, every single one was discriminatory. no non-christians, no homosexuals, etc etc. that excludes too many of my friends. i also was not going to write a 1 page essay on how jesus is my personal savior. i passed theology in college just fine, thank you. all the agencies also require a referral from your pastor. that would be great, except no one at our church knows who the heck we are because we're not "from" there.

i researched some larger, nationwide agencies too. i've always been a little nervous about big institutions - like, say, a state university. :) in the end, we decided to go with the same agency a friend used. while i was getting ready for our donor embryo cycle, a friend started her adoption paperwork with this agency and was very happy with them. it is here in our state, but not in the city. they have no religious requirement. they help the birthmother (BM) become self supportive so she can take better care of herself after the birth. they advertise nationwide along with in state. they also work with a facilitator in another state. our social worker said about 50% of the BM's come from in state and 50% are from out of state.

so now we wait. we may travel to the next county to meet a potential BM (PBM) or we may travel to another state. watch this space.....

lincoln's ducks

i hear that jenna was great on the today show. as soon as i get a link to the clip, i will post it here. she said my story made it on her website in time for the show. maybe someone will feel sorry for us and want to pay for our next cycle and our adoption! or not.

in the mean time, lincoln finally got to meet his ducks, face to face, in the yard.
they are defective ducks.
they think lincoln is their momma, and they were scared of water.
i'll try to get a picture posted of lincoln with his pet ducks following him around.

ok, nothing exciting to report right now, so i have had an offer from an anonymous person of a story to post. this happened to him/her at work.

when i was going to a meeting last week with this one weirdo here.
it was all quiet in the car for about 5 mins or so
then out of nowhere he goes "hmmmm yip yip hmmmmm."
then silence.
i didn't know what to do.
so i just stayed quiet and turned away to look out the window.

please check out this website

http://www.inconceivablejourney.com/default.htm

this was created by my friend who i mentioned was on oprah and is going to be on the today show. she did say that it would be in the 8 o'clock hour, but i don't know if that's eastern time only. (not up on my today show "stuff.")

i just sent my story to jenna, so if you'd like to read it, it might be posted there in a few days.

got this off of one of my infertility chat boards. except for you fellow IF vets out there (IF=infertility and vets is our term for those of us who have been there, done that, still no success), the rest of you would be amazed at the incredibly stupid things people say to infertiles.


So, what do you think people would say to you if you were paraplegicinstead of infertile...
As soon as you buy a wheelchair, I bet you'll be able to walk again!

You can't use your legs? Boy, I wish I was paralyzed. I get so tiredof walking, and if I were paralyzed I wouldn't have to walk anywhere!I could just sit around and relax all day long...

My cousin was paralyzed but she started shaving her legs in the otherdirection and she could walk again. You should try that.

I guess God just didn't mean for you to be able to walk.

Are you sure you want to be able to walk? It is SUCH hard work!

Oh, I know exactly how you feel, because I have an ingrown toenail.

Sorry, we don't cover treatment for paraplegia, because it's not alife-threatening illness.

So... when are *you* going to start walking?

Oh, I have just the opposite problem. I have to walk everywhere I go!

But don't you *want* to walk?

You're just trying too hard. Relax and you'll be able to walk.

You're so lucky... think of the money you save on shoes.

I don't know why you're being so selfish. You should at least be happythat *I* can walk.

I hope you don't try those anti-paralyzation drugs. They sometimesmake people run too fast and they get hurt.

Look at those people hiking... doesn't that make you want to hike?

Just relax, you'll be walking in no time.

Oh do my legs hurt, I was walking and walking and going up and downthe stairs all day.

I broke my leg skiing, and was on crutches for weeks, and was worriedI'd have a permanent limp, but I'm 100% healed.

I'd ask you to be in my wedding party but the wheelchair will look outof place at the altar.

You're being selfish, not coming on the hike with us, and looking atall of my track & field trophies.

Don't complain, you get all the good parking places.

If you just lose weight your legs will work again.

If you would just have more sex, you could walk!

You don't know how to walk? What's wrong with you? Here let a real manshow you how to walk!

You are just trying too hard to walk. Give up, and then you'll walk.

Here, touch my legs, then you'll walk!

Everyone in my family can walk. It must be in the water!

Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get youwalking!

When _we_ were young we only had to worry about having to walk toomuch.

And I bet a parapalegic going to a bookstore doesn't find books aboutparalysis stacked next to all the books on running...

"paper pregnant"

well, it's official - we are WAITING. not that we haven't done that enough in the past 3 1/2 yrs, but that is usually in 2 week increments when we know the date we are waiting for. we have nooooo idea what date we are waiting for now. none. oh, i love being patient! :o)

i got my SHARE newsletter yesterday. SHARE is a pregnancy and infant loss support group. i like some of the things in their newsletters. thought i would share part of their cover article on surviving mother's day.

-acknowledge that you are parents.
-be gentle with yourselves. do only what you can handle. acknowledge that this day could be difficult and determine how you can comfortably spend the day.
-alert yourself to the most difficult challenges of the day, such as attention given to moms and dads at church. some parents have talked to their clergy about the importance of recognizing all parents at these celebrations.
-family gatherings may make you feel uncomfortable. discuss this with your family and let them know that you appreciate their love and support, but that you may not be able to attend of manage your composure throughout the entire day. assure them that these feelings will not be forever.
-remember your baby by lighting a candle, placing a rose on the alter or dinner table, or planting a tree or bush.

i was going to add something that happened to me, but i'll refrain so no one gets mad at me. :o) our son was only 7 1/2 weeks into the pregnancy when his heart stopped beating, but we sure loved him during that time, and since. our peach trees were planted in his, and his siblings', memories. they had beautiful blossoms on them this spring. who knew peach blossoms were pink??

our social worker let me know that our final paperwork was rec'd last friday and that she was going to finish our home study write up over the weekend. then she will send it to her supervisor for final approval. thanks to everyone who sent a referral letter! we had twice as many as we needed. :) our portfolios were mailed on friday, so they should be in columbia by today i would think.

we had a fun weekend at flyball. our team finished first 2 days in a row! little liffey ran hard even though she was scared of the cars outside. she REALLY likes running with her border collie friends silk and marvin (she idolizes marvin.) :o)

everyone by sure to watch the today show the week of may 7th (next week.) an online infertility/adoption friend will be on the today show. there are supposed to be 3 parts to the story, and she is in 1. not sure which day yet, but she will be talking about her infertility treatments, i believe. she was incredibly brave and appeared on the oprah show, where her comments were edited down to half of what she wanted to convey to the world about infertility. oprah, and her audience, basically told jenna to "get over it." i will never watch oprah or buy her magazine again after her treatment of jenna. (and you all know how stubborn i can be!)

i figured i might share some of our infertility testing and treatment, since most of you got to miss it the first go round, while we are waiting for more adoption news.